Wassup Bitches

After a few close calls it looks like Mr. Viddy is sailing into calmer waters.

No, I shall not bore you with the details but let us just say that the last month has been hectic and I am looking forward to a great summer.  The new job is kick ass, and hopefully Microsoft will be staying out of the picture for a long while.

Life Forward and In Reverse

So, listening to Counting Crows, Mr. Jones and reflecting on how when the song first came out that I was seriously on the verge of suicide.  My life at the time was a complete train wreck and I just wanted out.  Now when I listen to this song, I am still reminded of those times but I can at least enjoy the song.  It really is a favorite of mine.

Funny how time can heal old wounds but at the same time the memories can remain fresh.

My life isn’t perfect but then again, no one has a perfect life.  Luckily I overcame the negative aspects of my life way back when and I continued on with things.  Sure, my job sucks at times and my boss is a certified fucking psycho (CFP) but I see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I struggle on to pursue my dreams and enjoy life.

Mr. Jones, great fucking song.

I Am So F#cked

I am fucked.  I am just going through the motions right now.  My perceptions are so negative that I couldn’t tell you for certain whether or not my feelings are even justified.  Meh…

Do I really hate my job or is it just a case of clouded judgment?  The stress is real enough.  I look down a path with no end.  There is no obvious conclusion to the story.

Explanation Pt. 2

So yeah, I don’t explain myself to anyone. You ain’t the boss of me.

Explanation

It had been a rather ordinary kind of day, a few meetings and then some free time afterwards to relax and walk around downtown.  It was probably around 6pm when I wandered into the little bar next door to the Roosevelt.  If you have ever been to Seattle you have probably walked past the place, nothing too flashy and its a comfortable place to have a drink and some appetizers.  That’s what I was doing on this particular evening, not expecting much to happen.  A drink and a snack then up to my room to watch some TV and get some sleep.

I know that many of you have been in the situation where you had planned something simple and then, without any control over the situation, things change dramatically.  That is what happened to me on this very evening, sitting there, sipping on a shot and eating onion rings.

I had a revelation.  It was not due to the alcohol.  One shot of whiskey?  No way.  And I was still nursing that shot when this revalation hit me.  It was not a case of being in a drunken stupor and I was not so tired that I was delirious.  I do not want any of you trying to find some other explanation for what happened that night.  You’ll have to accept my version of how it all played out.

Sitting there, on a bar stool.  Me, ordinary guy.  I cannot think of anything I saw or heard during the day that might have influenced my thoughts on a subconscious level.  Stress was not a factor.  The entire day was pretty mellow and relaxed.  Back at home everything was fine, the kids were doing good.  Bills payed and all that stuff.  No, this was just one of those things that you here about from other people.  How one day out of the blue they experienced such a moment of perfect clarity that something changed inside of them.  Okay, I’ll admit to you now that when it first happened even I thought it was a little crazy.  Any normal person would.  Think about it.  You go through your entire life thinking that you are just another average person.  Working, playing and living just like everyone around you.  Yeah.  That was me.

So there you have it.  It just goes to show you that something like this can happen to anyone, even you.